End of year message, 2024.
Another year slips by, and we have no choice but to lie down and take it. There are numbers and facts to show how long a year lasts, but how long should it feel? As years end and time passes, I am left with one undeniable conclusion: the heart is firmly solitary. When the lights go out, there is only you. Life drip-feeds hope to us all, and daily it is obliterated… this is what keeps us alive.
We are so often confronted by death and birth, and death and birth, but not given the tools, means, or resources to navigate this cycle in any sufferable way. We are left to battle with it until it is our turn to leave others stricken with grief. Why?
At one appearance during the summer, I was introduced on stage as an “up and coming” young poet. Whilst I confess apologetically to being youthful, nothing I have ever done, written, or said could right be described as “up” or “coming.” An ounce of momentum would cause my body to cease up - for it is foreign. I have been on a brisk downward trajectory since mid-2011. Could anyone “up and coming” have written The Dream Must Die? It is, through my eyes, a bible for the resigned.
In November, The Dream Must Die was released. It had been the hidden song inside me for almost three years and is my strongest collection of poetry yet - perhaps ever. I want to once again place on record my thanks to those who have, and continue to support the collection. Whenever anyone says something even remotely complimentary about my work, it puzzles and slightly troubles me – but I am very grateful.
The highlight of this year, and of my writing “career” – a term I use illegibly loosely – was the launch event at Castleford’s Queen’s Mill. I have never felt such love in a room. I send my genuine thanks to Rebecca Phythian, my dad Paul, and everyone who attended that night for their part in what was a glorious, life-changing and life-defining evening. I fear I will spend the rest of my life chasing any replica of the feeling I got from that night. Maybe, just maybe it’s all worth it.
Even though The Things They’ve Never Seen recently turned four years old, and Every Night is November will soon be three, I feel as though I have only just found my voice as a writer and performer, and that in itself is both daunting and so profoundly liberating. In England, in A Stranger, Dear Shauna, The Afters, and Ode to Zopiclone, I hear and understand myself in a clearer and truer sense than I have before.
Aside from my scrawls, I appeased the hurricane of my mind other pursuits this year. It was a joy to witness the magic of Belle & Sebastian in Paris, and to also visit six different countries, including spending some time in the Irish capital – a spiritual home of mine. Climbing Ben Nevis in June is also a highlight – Jack Kerouac was right, “climb the goddamn mountain”
I’d like to thank every publication that has offered my work exposure over the past year, including Yorkshire Bylines, Female First Magazine, Local Link Magazine, Highlights Magazine, and Daniel Paice, all of whom wrote so favourably about me. It has also been an honour to collaborate with The Morrissey Mercury, Yorkshire Arts & Mind, and The James Burke Foundation. I look forward to continuing some of these partnerships into the new year.
Looking ahead to 2025, – that’s a painful opening to a sentence - though with eyes clouded by confusion, I am looking forward to working on new projects, exciting live performances, and the release of recorded poems. I haven’t given up just yet.
Wishing you a kind and peaceful new year,
Jacob.
My Highlights of 2024;
• April & November: Performances at the Beatles Museum, Liverpool
• July: Performing at the New Adelphi, Hull
• September: Interview with Joe Booth
• November: The Dream Must Die book launch
• November: Release of The Dream Must Die and Off the Record
Songs That Smell of 2024;
• I’ll Be Your Pilot – Belle & Sebastian
• Bug – Fontaines D.C.
• Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys
• The Late Great Cassiopia - The Essex Green
• Lover, You Should’ve Come Over – Jeff Buckley
Don’t Forget;
• Remember – Christina Rossetti
• The Orange – Wendy Cope
• Chelsea Hotel # 2 – Leonard Cohen
• Now That’s Funny – Jim Higo
• Bonedog - Eva HD
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